I studied myself in the mirror. Dark eyes peered through lashes made long and exotic with jet-black mascara.
Dressed in classic white shirt, jeans and high heels, I looked refreshing, refined, and certain of every step. I’ve always taken care of my body. It’s my home and letting myself go has never been an option. That leads to depression – it’s such a nasty feeling to not feel good about yourself – to hide from the mirror.
You can do this. I told myself. The this was meeting a man for drinks at the restaurant where I sometimes go with Allan. My friend Eric who looked horrified when I told him that I could not get my mind wrapped around being touched by anyone arranged the blind date. He feared that I would never get off my island. His fear was baseless. I did not tell him about my erotic masturbating fantasies, but I must admit, it’s a lot easier to have someone do the leg-work rather than me putting myself out there. My desire to hunt is lacking and I cannot get back in the game unless I get back in the game. I get it.
I told him not to expect anything. You see, I am quite full of myself. My standards are high and I do not intend to lower them. I reminded him of the time that Ally set me up with a man who’d been in jail and advised him against it.
Let’s start with intelligence. That is my number one criteria. I like geeks. Bulging muscles and a tight ass does nothing for me if you don’t have intelligence to go with it. Seduce my mind and you’ve got me.
If a man is looking for a clubbing, bar chick who uses drugs and call it a party, I’m not his girl. I am very low keyed. I enjoy travel, art, strolls in the park, movies, literature, philosophical discussions and independent thinking. I am decisive, and assertive and some men do not like that in women – I am not going to change.
“Stop talking,” Eric said. “How long have I known you?”
“Many moons,” I said. “I’ve known Ally longer than you and she set me up with a guy who spent time in jail for murder,”
He chuckled. “That was really bad. I wouldn’t do that,” he said.
“I hope not,” I said.
I turned away from the mirror and dived off my island, prepared for an icy greeting to force me back to my safe haven. Instead, it was warm and encouraging like a child stepping into a world that exists only in her imagination.
I saw my blind date sitting in a corner. I knew what he looked like from the picture that Eric showed me on his Iphone. My heart skipped a beat or two. His was not the face I wanted to see, but he was the one waiting for me. I was not the only one on a new adventure. He stood when I approached. The smile stretched across his face. He bent his head to place a kiss on my cheek and I tip-toed to accept it.
"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding."